Thursday, September 11, 2003

Apologizing is a really difficult thing to do. It is especially difficult to apologize to your four year old after you, as the adult in the situation, have flow totally off the handle.

Today was LLL. I planned on getting there at 10am, to have a little time to spare, and help out the mom who was hosting. We were all set to go at 9:45. I went into my bathroom to put on lipstick and mascara. In case youa ren't from the South, a lady never elaves home without her lipstick on. Anyway, I was running a brush through my hair, and in walked Baby Boy, 16 months old. He smelled strangely like Lemon Joy. Oldest child, 4 years old, was washing dishes. She put nearly the entire bottle of dish soap into a bowl, which she dropped on the floor. Baby Boy then proceeded to place said bowl on his head. So freshly bathed BabyBoy, in clean clothes, ready to go, had to be washed and changed into more clean clothes.

I, needless to say, got a teensy bit pissed. There was some yelling, and once the children were in their room, some cussing, and a tiny bit of throwing.

And after I calmed down for a few minutes, I felt really really crappy. So I apologized, and oldest child and I cried together. And we went to La Leche League, and we had fun.

I bet you'll never guess what I am doing now.


Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Blah, blah blah

I think I am having some hormonal mood swings. I go from feeling just blah to crying over sweet memories of when my children were little. Oldest child, now 4 years old, just came in and asked if she could make herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I said yes, because she can, and will do a good job!

I have LLL tomorrow. For those of you who are not breast freaks like, me LLL is La Leche League, a support group for nursing moms. I get to see my friends, and eat lunch out, and I like that.

Tonight, church, so I get to see more friends.

Hubby is home! That makes me smile!

More later BatGirl!

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Well, we all survived. Today was Oldest Child's first day of school. She seemed to really like it and wants to go back. We made a "ME" bag so she can share about herself. We included a family photo, a pic of her at the beach, one of her in her soccer uniform, and her tiny Bible. She said she wanted to tell her new friends that she loves her family, knows how to swim in the ocean, and plays soccer. "Mostly, I want to share God's love with them. That's why I am taking my Bible." I love this kid.

And it was pretty wuiet at my hosue today. Middle child had no one to fight with. Baby Brother took a nap, so she was all alone. We snuggled, and I let her have 3 popsicles. And she got to pick the cartoons this morning. I think Middle Child likes Big Sister in school as well!

And now I am folding laundry. One day I will catch up!

Monday, September 01, 2003

What do you do when your husband is stressed?

Husband was home Friday and today, because of the Labor Day holiday. He has barely eaten all weekend. Something big was going on at work and he was really stressed about it, but couldn't do anything. We all got out of the house several times, and ate out far more than we should have, but hewas just out of it.

While shopping in a toy store today, he spent about 10 minutes sending emails back and forth on his PDA. I guess everything turned out fine, as I knew it would, since he suddenly got hungry.

His short term memory was on the fritz this weekend too. It was as if his brain was working overtime on work and couldn't keep up with anything else.

But he is better now, and is planning on taking off this coming Friday as well. He says he needs time to actually relax. He is in the den now playing a Tom Clancy game on the X-Box. I think he is feeling better!

Sunday, August 31, 2003

Thank goodness for long weekends!

Friday night I had a rousing bout with insomnia. I was up until 4am. My sweet husband let me sleep in until 9! The kids weren't fed yet, and The Baby had a stinky dipe, but I was in the bed so I didn't mind too much!

And Saturday, football returned. I am so happy. Vanderbilt was even on TV, and it was one of the best games on all day. Vandy, mine and my husband's alma mater, lost by only 3 points to an AMAZING kicker from Greenwood, Mississippi. Mr. Nichols kicked a 54 yard field goal with 2 minutes left in the game to break the tie. All the other games were huge blowouts or raindelayed.

Now we just need some football weather. Ninety-five degrees is really too hot to make chili!

Our new preacher has arrived. We now have two preachers. Harold is going to work on evangelism, and helping members invite and share with friends. Jason, the new guy, will be mainly preaching. He is young and very nice. I think he will do lots of good for our congregation.

And my 4 year old knows more about the Bible than I do. Do you know who Job's three friends were? My Oldest knows. She knows lots. I am amazed. Maybe I should join in the three and four year old class. It seems I could learn so much!

Oldest child starts school on Tuesday. I am going with her a few minutes early so she can meet her teacher and see her room. She is excited! We made a backpack to carry her stuff. Now I just need to figure out what she will wear the first day, or if I am going to make her somethign new and wonderful to wear.

Off to get everyone ready for church again!

Friday, August 29, 2003

My husband is working from home today! He got home at 7pm Monday, 7:30 Tuesday, 6 Wednesday for church, and not until almost 9 last night. But he is home today. The girls are in the basement with him. He is working and they are watching a movie. I might even get to leave the house ALONE! Life is good.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

oh my word

Is there anything in this world that is sweeter than a still warm from bed 2 year old, snuggling in your lap and stroking you face? I love being a mom.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Blah blah blah blah. SOmetimes I swear that is all they hear! Of course, all I hear is, "Mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy, PLEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE" so maybe it is only fair!

My bed is piled high with laundry today. I have folded 4 loads, and have washed and dried 4 more. And made some school clothes for my oldest child. My big screw up for today is that we missed meet the teacher day. This will be Oldest Child's first year at school. She will be in 4-K and is so excited. I thought tomorrow was meet the teacher day, so I called to confirm, at 2pm. oops. Today from 12-1 was meet the teacher day. Oh well, I guess we will go in early on Tuesday so she can see it all!

She is so so excited about school today. TOday, she packed her lunch: a yogurt you squeeze, a slice of cheese, and a half pint of raspberries. (As a complete aside, I LOVE the correct use of a colon and am so glad I got to put one in the last sentence. Please appreciate my grammar! It makes me happy :-) I explained that she wouldn't need lunch at school until next week. She said,"Da food will wait, Mommy!" I did at least convince her to put her lunch in the refiregerator.

And I signed Middle Child up for gymnastics today. It will be on one of the days that Oldest has school, and the gymnastics place is less than a mile away. Middle Child is ecstatic as well.

I hope I survive all this. My life is going from happy-go-lucky to very well-structured in just a few short days. Heaven help me!

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Another important reminder

A good sized cup of coffee on an empty stomach will seriously screw you up! I had a big cup of full caffeine coffee this morning. since baby boy self-weaned, I am able to indulge sometimes. I hadn't had my banana for breakfast yet, and I kept doing other things and forgetting my banana. My blood pressure must have gone through the roof! I was seeing spots, heart racing, feeling dizzy. Fortunately, SuperKid to the rescue, my oldest brought me half a banana, the other half fell on the floor. I ate it quickly and felt better within a minute. So, my word to the wise today is, eat the banana first. It is, after all, growing food!
Snotty little children

Literally. Yesterday I had two snotty little children. Middle child was just runny and sneezy. Baby boy (now almost 16 months old) was dripping snot and full of buggars. Gross and disgusting. At least Middle child will let me wipe her nose. Baby boy just runs off screaming at me,"No no no no no!" The running and screaming was cute, the first three times; then it became irritating; now it is infuriating. On the upside, he got some Triaminic to help him sleep last night. It is 8:30 and he is still in bed!

My food battle is getting better. Last night I bought Krispy Kreme doughnuts for my husband, and I only ate two of them. That shows great restraint on my part! And I haven't had one for breakfast yet. I had a cup of coffee, and am about to have a banana. I MUST make a run to the store today. I need the ingredients for all the yummy muffins that my friend Carmen gave me recipes for.

One of my pregnant friends Amy, I have 3 pregnant friends Amy right now, called me last night. She is planning a homebirth and couldn't get hold of the back-up midwives. Her MW and assistant were at a conference in Tennessee. Amy fell twice yesterday. Once she landed on all fours. The second time she hit her belly on the stairs. She wanted to know what I thought. I told her that I would go in, especially since she was having constant tightening around her belly. She finally got hold of one of the assistants, a nurse. The nurse told her she was fine, that she would be bleeding from her vagina or having blood pressure problems if there were any issues. The nurse told her to take a Benadryl or have a glass of wine and sleep well. I was really upset by this advice. Number one, I do not think that a pregnant woman should ever drink. Perhaps one drink at the very end of pregnany, or during labor, to relax, but that is it. Second, I would not want to be in a drug or alcohol induced sleep after a fall and possible injury to me and my baby. I would want to sleep lightly, so that if something were happening inside my body, I would be aware. And thirdly, while I fully support homebirth, with a constant contracting, sharp cervical pain, and two falls in one day, I would want some reassurance. I would want, at the very least, for my midwife or someon in her stead, to come LISTEN with her very own ears, to my baby's heartbeat, to be sure baby's heart rate was good, not low due to lack of oxygen, maybe due to the constant compression. I spent quite a bit of time last night praying that God would hold Amy and her baby close to Him, that He would watch over them, and make them healthy and safe.

Sorry for the ramble, but this is my space and I get to use it as I see fit. If you don't like it, get your own blog!

Anyway, off to do MORE laundry. I only have 4 HUGE bins of dirty stuff left. Having it all in one place is making it easier to weed out though. I have an ongoing give-away pile, and one for things for the children that don't fit anyone anymore, attic clothes. Now off to make breakfast. Have a great day!

Monday, August 25, 2003

Life is good!

I went to a new playgroup today, Chrunchy Christian Moms. It was fun, and my three monkeys really enjoyed it. I have been eating well. I am amazed by how well a banana can fill me up for breakfast. I am trying to be careful between meals to not snack more than I need to. And I got four really great muffin recipes to try this week.

My oldest starts "school" next week. We have orientation on Thursday. She is so excited. I hope the excitment lasts until next Tuesday!

My middle child, only "two and a hap" is going to take gymnastics lessons. My DH and I were watching the World Championships last night and middle child was fascinated. She was more glued to the TV than usual, which is saying lots. So Middle Child will start gymnastics as soon as mama gets off her fanny.

I have been wearing my tennis shoes and socks. I feel more athletic just having them on. I walk faster and farther. And now I barely notice the chunks of food clinging to my feet, which were made sticky by the orange juice spill this morning. Thus is the life of women throughout the world, known as Mom.

Friday, August 22, 2003

When I don't answer my phone, it means one of 3 things. The baby has run off with the phone again and I cannot find it. I am unable to answer my phone due to the fact that I am driving in heavy traffic, trying to check out, or getting my 3 small children safely across a parking lot. I do not want to talk to you!

My mom and both sisters were in town yesterday. They were to call me when they arrived at their destination so I could met them. So my baby sister, who is 22 years old, calls me THREE TIMES in the space of about 6 minutes. I finally turned off my phone. Once I got all the children buckled up, I called back, informed her that I understood the FIRST time she called that they had arrived and that I would be there when I got there!

On the upside, they were in Saks. I do not shop in Saks. I have 3 small children who, though generally well-behaved, could destroy Saks in a matter of minutes. It simply is not a risk I am willing to take. But with 3 sets of extra hands, I ventured inside. They had a great sale in the children's department, obviously because people with children don't go in there. I got some very nice, very cute clothes for next summer, for excellent prices. When you can find Ralph Lauren dresses for under $10, you just have to buy one, or four.

And I found a beautiful blouse on clearance. It was a Liberty of London. Their fabric is beautiful and so so soft. It would not, of course, button across these just recently ended lactating breasts, but will look lovely with a pair of beautiful green velvet pants I plan on making. I can put on a nice tank underneath and be set for all the Christmas parties. I like to plan ahead.

And off to playgroup today! We go to a wonderful playgroup. There is a really nice mix of children and parents with different parenting and life philsophies. There are also some racial differences since our enighborhood is somewhat of a bubble. However, there is one little boy who is the vicitm of poor parenting. This mother has tons of advice for everyone else, but just ignores, or even watches, as her good-sized 20 month old terrorizes other children. Last month he chased one little boy all aroudn the room three times trying to steal his toy. It is sad that a parent who does not belong to this little boy has to follow him around correcting his behavior and protecting the other children.

Maybe my sewing maching will be fixed today. I NEED it back. I have lots to get done, but no machine. I have done lots on the serger, but I can only make so many blankets and burp cloths. I have eight more dipes to make, two bag orders to finish, and seventy-five Halloween bags to finish for a craft fair in Early October.

and 326 loads of laundry left to wash
and dry...
and fold...

and put away....

But for now, PLAYGROUP!

Thursday, August 21, 2003

I did it! I added comments! Blast away folks, and thanks for reading. Also, thanks to Alana for letting me know how in the heck to do it.

Today I feel better. I have been in something of a funk the last week or so. I ha a BLAST at a wedding this weekend, and got to relax some. But I have been feeling very, well, blah. Blahdy blah blah blah. I have felt fat and unattractive, and not very sexual. I have been feeling my spriitual life slipping as well. I wasn't praying much; I wasn't enjoying church as much; I wasn't enjoying life much at all.

But this morning, when I woke, I felt, well, better. I have a meeting at 10, one which I am not looking terribly forward to. But I have gotten a deposit slip ready, with 8 checks, which is a ton of effort to me. I wrote a check to my credit card company, for more than the minumum payment. I took care of another business item. And, I get to see my family today. They are coming through on their way home from visiting my grandmother. We will probably eat lunch. This is good. It means there will be 4 adults and 3 children. My mom will pay for lunch, so it is free and I can order what I want instead of what I should get.

Now, onto fat and food. I have been feeling really fat lately, sluggish actually. I have a 15 month old. I have lost exactly 10 pounds since my initial post baby weight drop. I gained that weight back in water weight about a week ago. I used to wonder how those hugely obese people get the way they are. I wondered when they went from "I'll have a slice of cheesecake," to "I'll have a cheesecake." Now I know. They don't really do that, they just eat an extra piece of cheesecake here and there, and the pounds pile on.

I have decided to put away my sandals and strap on my tennis shoes. My feet will be ready, so maybe I will get more done.

I am going to park at the far end of the parking lot, even if it IS hot outside. I am going to watch what I eat, and enjoy all the fresh fruits and veggies of the season. I am going to eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. And that is it. I am going to eat more fruit and more vegetables. And hopefully, that will be a good start.

And by DAMN I am going to do something every day. It might just be chase with my kids, but something. My friend Sunny lives in California, or else she would be at my house every day kicking my butt into gear.

And off I go, into a day of a better me!

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Just in case you didn't know already

the best way to clean the bathroom floor is to have your 2.5 year old pour one or two 5 gallon tubs full of hot soapy water out of the bathtub and onto the floor. Jowever, this is also the messiest, most annoying, and most infuriating way to do it. I will leave it up to you, but my bathroom floor is now sparkling clean. Now, what to do about the rest of the house?
Cleaned out the freezer yesterday. My sweet middle child left it open for about 8 hours on WEdnesday of last week. WE were out all day, and none noticed until all the ice melted and the kitchen floor was a big puddle. On the upside, I got to buy new food! I know what we have and where everything is in the freezer, right now anyway.

I am continuing to let go. Breastfeeding is something that is vrey important to me. I want every baby to have breastmilk. A good friend from church has overcome so many obstacles, a preemie, thrush, sore breats, nipple confusion. She is now weaning her 2 month old. She has Raynaud's phenomenon, a vascular problem. she says it feels like hot pokers when she nurses. I remember the feeling, as I was pregnant with #2 when #1 was still nursing. It was hard, but I put up with it util #1 was a year old. I cannot imagine weaning my 2 month old preemie. But I cannot feel what her breasts feel. And she has never experienced the pure joy that I have, of nursing a beautiful babe, who looks at you and smiles. Or says," mmmmmmm" when she is snuggled up to your breast late at night. It makes me sad. So I am off to do some research for this mom, who really does want to feed her baby, just without pain.

Monday, August 18, 2003

I went on a real vacation! I took a grown up girlfriend with me to help with the kidlets. She took them swimming, bought them lunch, got them to take naps, and put them to bed so I could go to wedding party type stuff. It was amazing! I should always take a girlfriend on vacation with me,and leave my husband at home!

And while I was gone, my husband cleaned oour bedroom. I came home to a clean floor, clean sheets, and 437 loads of laundry! But, my room is clean and I am thrilled. I think I will leave again next weekend and see what else he can get done.

And today, I decided not to try so hard sometimes. I have a close friend who just had a new baby. My plan was to drive 2 hours, leave my kids with my parents, drive 2 more hours, spend some time with the baby, then drive back to my parents' place and spend the night, going hom the next day. This 1-2 hour visit was going to take up 2 days of my time. Then I remembered that this same friend and his wife were too busy to drive down the street to see me when my middle child was 3 weeks old. I decided not to go. I am not really holding grudges, but I decided that I was making all the effort, which is a LOT when lugging 3 small children around including all the stuff they require. I think I will just stay home, and do what I want!

or maybe I could get started on that 437 loads of laundry.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Too early!

That is what time my morning began. 5:45 and my 4 year old wants more water in her cup, and another blanket because hers is wet, from wetting the bed, again. My husband was a bed-wetter, as were my niece and nephew, so it runs in the family. It is just annoying since she night time potty trained all on her own before she was dry during the day. She just refused to wear a diaper or pull-up to bed, and she stayed dry, so wll was well. Oh well. What can you do but wash the sheets, again.

At least the girls are playing nicely, and without the TV I might add. A big struggle in our home is the television. It keeps the monkeys entertained, and happy, but it is onfar too much. So we are cutting back our TV time, good for everyone.

My little sister is coming up today. She just grduated from college with a degree in Art History and a minor in Italian. If anyone out there has a job for her, could you let me know! She is wondering what to do with her life. She has a boyfriend, whom I actually like. But he isn't the one. She might not know it, but he isn't. Is it wrong to want the very best for your little sister? And my other sister, the middle child, is home from London and fashion school this week. We are all, as a big family, off to a wedding at the beach. Fun in the sun for the whole family.

So today, life goes on, the post office, laundry, dishes, sweeping, packing, and the rest of the drudgery, but tomorrow, VACATION!

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

What I remember...

becomes a smaller folder in my brain every day. Important things fall right out of my ears every time I bend over to pick up a toy, or wipe syrup off the floor, ick. I remember a lot, but so much is gone. I have to look back at the pictures to remember how special each of my babies was, how different from his or her siblings. I look at pictures of me, with the hubster, and remember when sex was fun, and carefree, and not a quickie on Sunday afternoon while the kids watch a movie. I look at photos and remember how carefree life used to be, when I was 16 and had no idea!

But I know what my babies weighed when they were born. I remember their birthdays, but I do forget mine. I remember the letter my motehr wrote to me in college. It was only 3 sentences, but it is etched in my brain. I remember hurtful things, and times of great joy.

I try to be thankful for the blessings, every day, because I never know if I will remember them tomorrow.
Here it is, my own little corner of the web. Thanks Alana for letting me know this was out there. I have wanted a place like this for a while, somewhere all my own, to ramble. Now, off to find some inspiration!