Apologizing is a really difficult thing to do. It is especially difficult to apologize to your four year old after you, as the adult in the situation, have flow totally off the handle.
Today was LLL. I planned on getting there at 10am, to have a little time to spare, and help out the mom who was hosting. We were all set to go at 9:45. I went into my bathroom to put on lipstick and mascara. In case youa ren't from the South, a lady never elaves home without her lipstick on. Anyway, I was running a brush through my hair, and in walked Baby Boy, 16 months old. He smelled strangely like Lemon Joy. Oldest child, 4 years old, was washing dishes. She put nearly the entire bottle of dish soap into a bowl, which she dropped on the floor. Baby Boy then proceeded to place said bowl on his head. So freshly bathed BabyBoy, in clean clothes, ready to go, had to be washed and changed into more clean clothes.
I, needless to say, got a teensy bit pissed. There was some yelling, and once the children were in their room, some cussing, and a tiny bit of throwing.
And after I calmed down for a few minutes, I felt really really crappy. So I apologized, and oldest child and I cried together. And we went to La Leche League, and we had fun.
I bet you'll never guess what I am doing now.