Thursday, August 21, 2003


Today I feel better. I have been in something of a funk the last week or so. I ha a BLAST at a wedding this weekend, and got to relax some. But I have been feeling very, well, blah. Blahdy blah blah blah. I have felt fat and unattractive, and not very sexual. I have been feeling my spriitual life slipping as well. I wasn't praying much; I wasn't enjoying church as much; I wasn't enjoying life much at all.

But this morning, when I woke, I felt, well, better. I have a meeting at 10, one which I am not looking terribly forward to. But I have gotten a deposit slip ready, with 8 checks, which is a ton of effort to me. I wrote a check to my credit card company, for more than the minumum payment. I took care of another business item. And, I get to see my family today. They are coming through on their way home from visiting my grandmother. We will probably eat lunch. This is good. It means there will be 4 adults and 3 children. My mom will pay for lunch, so it is free and I can order what I want instead of what I should get.

Now, onto fat and food. I have been feeling really fat lately, sluggish actually. I have a 15 month old. I have lost exactly 10 pounds since my initial post baby weight drop. I gained that weight back in water weight about a week ago. I used to wonder how those hugely obese people get the way they are. I wondered when they went from "I'll have a slice of cheesecake," to "I'll have a cheesecake." Now I know. They don't really do that, they just eat an extra piece of cheesecake here and there, and the pounds pile on.

I have decided to put away my sandals and strap on my tennis shoes. My feet will be ready, so maybe I will get more done.

I am going to park at the far end of the parking lot, even if it IS hot outside. I am going to watch what I eat, and enjoy all the fresh fruits and veggies of the season. I am going to eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. And that is it. I am going to eat more fruit and more vegetables. And hopefully, that will be a good start.

And by DAMN I am going to do something every day. It might just be chase with my kids, but something. My friend Sunny lives in California, or else she would be at my house every day kicking my butt into gear.

And off I go, into a day of a better me!

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